Sometimes Kalene and I spend so long trying to decide on which movie to watch that we run out of time for actual viewing. To combat this, I sought out several online lists of best/worst movies in different genres.

This comes from from a Rotten Tomatoes list of the best slasher films.

#93: Deadly Blessing (1981)

• Director: Wes Craven
• Starring: Maren Jensen, Ernest Borgnine, Susan Buckner, Sharon Stone
• Had I seen it before? Not that I remember.  
• Should it be on such a list? [I hate saying negative things about other people’s work, but when you’re doing a project like this, sometimes you’re forced to. Sorry!] For the first two-thirds of the movie, you would be tempted to say yes. A young Sharon Stone, Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine (!!!), an isolated location, religious conflict—what’s not to love? Unfortunately, this is a movie you could show to film school students if you want to illustrate the meaning of “third-act problems.” The whole movie goes off the rails, as if the creative team realized they had no idea how to end it. Red herrings come so furiously that it’s hard to keep up, and none of them make much sense. Plus, like The Incubus, this movie seems to forget that incubi are male. If I recall correctly, this was one of Wes Craven’s work-for-hire projects he made while working on the movies and shows he actually cared about. It shows. Given the mess at the end, it’s tough to believe there aren’t slasher movies that could replace this one on the list.

#92: Halloween Kills (2021)

• Director: David Gordon Green
• Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak
• Had I seen it before: Yes, in the theater.
• Should it be on such a list? [Again, sorry for the negativity] Absolutely not. I hated this movie when I first saw it. Watching it again proved a better experience, but not by much. The first of Green’s Halloween trilogy is one of the best horror movies I’ve seen. It gives John Carpenter’s original film a run for its money as best in the franchise. This one disappointed me about as much as any sequel ever has. Much like Halloween II, there isn’t much of a story. Michael meanders about Haddonfield, killing everyone he sees as he slowly makes his way back to his old house. Everyone in town tries to stop him. That’s pretty much it, which might have been enough to make a decent middle film in a slasher trilogy if it weren’t for the other problems. The nature of the movie sticks Laurie Strode in a hospital room for most of the movie, and unlike in Halloween II, she doesn’t even face off against Michael. Instead, we see a mob of incompetent nitwits take on the Shape with all the unearned confidence of a middle school wide receiver telling everyone that pro cornerbacks could never cover him. Chief among the boobs is Anthony Michael Hall’s Tommy, the grown-up version of an OG survivor. He leads the mob in all the wrong directions. They use deeply stupid strategies to corral Michael. They go after the wrong people, at one point mistaking a short and rotund mental patient for the tall, intimidating killer. And don’t even get me started on the repeated chants of “Evil dies tonight!” or the long speeches by Tommy and Laurie as they hit the viewers over the head with what it’s all supposed to mean. Plus, the ending squanders some of the feminist good will the first movie earned. This is simply not a good movie, though if all you’re looking for is to see Michael looking like a badass as he slaughters enough people to make a football team, check it out.

There will be more installments in the future. Join me, won’t you?

In the meantime, buy my books. All the cool kids are doing it.

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